I'm dirty and I don't care.
I have no one to clean up for tonight. My place is a mess. I'm a mess. The Big Island job is almost through. By noon tomorrow. Made a couple of planters before the sun set. My nails are dirty and I'm eating trail mix with them. Have a gig at UH tomorrow. Earth Day with the Vapor Puppets. I feel crazy. Amped. Need to relax but I look at all the projects and I am drawn to them like a magnet to steel. Did the plants, then made a salad, then typed this while I ate. The writing project. the mobile project is in my periphery and calling me. But I'm too tired to really produce an effect with the artifacts. A cigarette keeps oscillating through my mental field. old habit calling. I don't answer. I would lie down but I have to clean up. Had a bucket of dirt spill over my sweaty head. I really need to get a hot water heater soon.
Ok . I will clean up and chill out. I'll try relaxing and see what that feels like.
Thursday, April 21, 2005
Wednesday, April 20, 2005
Ok. I'm impressed with myself again.
The artwork for the June show @ Marks Garage flows melifluously across my workstation, spilling its castings all over the rest of my life. A happy mess. The Vapor Puppets project blossoms like a desert cactus. Very sudden and quite unexpected.
Woke up late today. Had the tuesday night session @ the Kaiser studios in beautiful downtown Enchanted Lake. Blake came in and threw down a couple of numbers with the band. There was a shotglass loaded with muscle relaxants on the keyboard. I resisted them most of the night, but the beers relaxed my resistance to the lure of the pills and I took one. An hour later I was in a perpetual lean toward the horizontal. Blake and I grabbed a couple of kinda-philly-cheesesteaks at the Late Night Pizza lunch wagon. I dropped blake at Evno's and careened home to bed. Slept
Didn't want to get up this morning though I woke up at 7:30. Tino come in at 9:00 and we had ice coffee. Then I threw some whisky in the glasses. Tino played with the bass a bit and I played Vapor Puppet CD's. 10:00 we're loading shower trees on Betty. Griz shows up. We talk a bit. Resolution to the irritation is desired by both parties. 82 trees on Betty. We stop @ Ono Pono's for lunch and to drop off a plant. Put trees in container on Middle Street. Put another 50 trees in back at the farm. Back at the office Tino takes a Salvia break and looks at an Escher book. "Great name for an emcee to have," says Tino. I had an adult cookie. Back to Ono Pono to pick up Compost. Pick up Cee. Stop at Coffee Talk to grab the grounds and water the plants. Take Cee to pick up a J. Go to Kapi'olani Park for Sebastians 1st birthday. See Blake again. He missed his flight today. Shawzy called and told me to meet her at the Olive Garden. I show and listen to a man rant on the corner. He's angry. It has something to do with a woman, betrayal, and rich people. The belly dancers arrived and we ate and celebrated the marrage of Shawzy and Jerimai. Big surprise. Simone married them on the mountain while they were hiking yesterday. I ate feta and tomatos and olives and grape leaves and whatever was in them. Drank wine. Had pomegranite juice. Shared backlava with Roxanne. Decided right there to be kinder to my palate. Hanging with french people will do that to ya. Carrye was making a hat. Red and black. Had to have it. Stopped at Coffee Talk on the way home to juice up for this session. Cee was there. I read the paper then interrupted Cee's process of writing his thesis to rant about the Space Station. I've decided to go with the Mooirish style ranch house over the Jack Russell terrier design.
Somewhere in there I realized that the Vapor Puppets have a spot at 1:45pm @ at the Earth Day gig. I have to wrap up the Big Island tree order early. I don't have the crew to do it. Expecting calls in the morning. drinking whisky now. because it's here. And so am I.
The artwork for the June show @ Marks Garage flows melifluously across my workstation, spilling its castings all over the rest of my life. A happy mess. The Vapor Puppets project blossoms like a desert cactus. Very sudden and quite unexpected.
Woke up late today. Had the tuesday night session @ the Kaiser studios in beautiful downtown Enchanted Lake. Blake came in and threw down a couple of numbers with the band. There was a shotglass loaded with muscle relaxants on the keyboard. I resisted them most of the night, but the beers relaxed my resistance to the lure of the pills and I took one. An hour later I was in a perpetual lean toward the horizontal. Blake and I grabbed a couple of kinda-philly-cheesesteaks at the Late Night Pizza lunch wagon. I dropped blake at Evno's and careened home to bed. Slept
Didn't want to get up this morning though I woke up at 7:30. Tino come in at 9:00 and we had ice coffee. Then I threw some whisky in the glasses. Tino played with the bass a bit and I played Vapor Puppet CD's. 10:00 we're loading shower trees on Betty. Griz shows up. We talk a bit. Resolution to the irritation is desired by both parties. 82 trees on Betty. We stop @ Ono Pono's for lunch and to drop off a plant. Put trees in container on Middle Street. Put another 50 trees in back at the farm. Back at the office Tino takes a Salvia break and looks at an Escher book. "Great name for an emcee to have," says Tino. I had an adult cookie. Back to Ono Pono to pick up Compost. Pick up Cee. Stop at Coffee Talk to grab the grounds and water the plants. Take Cee to pick up a J. Go to Kapi'olani Park for Sebastians 1st birthday. See Blake again. He missed his flight today. Shawzy called and told me to meet her at the Olive Garden. I show and listen to a man rant on the corner. He's angry. It has something to do with a woman, betrayal, and rich people. The belly dancers arrived and we ate and celebrated the marrage of Shawzy and Jerimai. Big surprise. Simone married them on the mountain while they were hiking yesterday. I ate feta and tomatos and olives and grape leaves and whatever was in them. Drank wine. Had pomegranite juice. Shared backlava with Roxanne. Decided right there to be kinder to my palate. Hanging with french people will do that to ya. Carrye was making a hat. Red and black. Had to have it. Stopped at Coffee Talk on the way home to juice up for this session. Cee was there. I read the paper then interrupted Cee's process of writing his thesis to rant about the Space Station. I've decided to go with the Mooirish style ranch house over the Jack Russell terrier design.
Somewhere in there I realized that the Vapor Puppets have a spot at 1:45pm @ at the Earth Day gig. I have to wrap up the Big Island tree order early. I don't have the crew to do it. Expecting calls in the morning. drinking whisky now. because it's here. And so am I.
Saturday, April 09, 2005
I'm not impressed.
I used to be pretty impressed with myself. Not so much these days. I think I psychically herniated myself when I decided that I was going to build that space station. I haven't even started the thing yet.
I haven't been keeping up the blog. I've been buisy working-on/stressing-about my nursury. Been raining for the past two weeks. A centepede bit me on Thursday, so I've been incapacitated for the past two days. I endured the pounding in my foot to drive to Kailua for the Vapor Puppet session last night. Took pain pills and drank whisky. Played a waterphone in a spacy soundscape.
Had a dream last night that I started introducing myself to people as John Sybian, and asked them to remember me on election day. I told people I was running for court clerk. I scooted around some mall/office complex on a footstool that made flatulant like noises when I scooted it just the right way. This made an impression on a number of older Japanese ladies that I asked to remember me.
In another dream I was running down a steep city street and jumped high in the air. The hill became almost vertical as I jumped and I soared a great distance before falling through a tree into a coutyard. My landing was eased by the son of a restaraunt owner. I thanked him, then noticed a cord that ran up into the sky. High above was a white pirate/space ship anchored over the city.
Stopped dreaming around Noon. My foot felt like it had been run over by a truck when I stood up. So, I stayed in bed. Carson left some peanut butter and sliced apples by the bed with some apple juice. So I ate and started reading Eckart Tolle's The Power of Now. I read to page 23. It's not very funny. I think I've had enough of these humorless spiritual teachers. I need a punchline. He'breakes it down: People think too much and not creatively enough. A neurotic species. No kidding. I recieved 4 e-mails from my ex today. 4. Today. Apparently I need more humility. I need to grow up. And something else... Oh yeah, I need to "be the enlightened man that I pretend to be." Eckart Tolle says of enlightenment:
"the word enlightenment conjurs up the idea of some superhuman accomplishment, and the ego likes to keep it that way, but it is simply your natural state of felt oneness with Being."
He also says:
The inability to feel this connectedness gives rise to the illusion of separation, from yourself, and from the world around you. You then perceive yourself, consciously, or unconsciously, as an Isolated fragment. Fear arises, and conflict within and without becomes the norm
I used to be pretty impressed with myself. Not so much these days. I think I psychically herniated myself when I decided that I was going to build that space station. I haven't even started the thing yet.
I haven't been keeping up the blog. I've been buisy working-on/stressing-about my nursury. Been raining for the past two weeks. A centepede bit me on Thursday, so I've been incapacitated for the past two days. I endured the pounding in my foot to drive to Kailua for the Vapor Puppet session last night. Took pain pills and drank whisky. Played a waterphone in a spacy soundscape.
Had a dream last night that I started introducing myself to people as John Sybian, and asked them to remember me on election day. I told people I was running for court clerk. I scooted around some mall/office complex on a footstool that made flatulant like noises when I scooted it just the right way. This made an impression on a number of older Japanese ladies that I asked to remember me.
In another dream I was running down a steep city street and jumped high in the air. The hill became almost vertical as I jumped and I soared a great distance before falling through a tree into a coutyard. My landing was eased by the son of a restaraunt owner. I thanked him, then noticed a cord that ran up into the sky. High above was a white pirate/space ship anchored over the city.
Stopped dreaming around Noon. My foot felt like it had been run over by a truck when I stood up. So, I stayed in bed. Carson left some peanut butter and sliced apples by the bed with some apple juice. So I ate and started reading Eckart Tolle's The Power of Now. I read to page 23. It's not very funny. I think I've had enough of these humorless spiritual teachers. I need a punchline. He'breakes it down: People think too much and not creatively enough. A neurotic species. No kidding. I recieved 4 e-mails from my ex today. 4. Today. Apparently I need more humility. I need to grow up. And something else... Oh yeah, I need to "be the enlightened man that I pretend to be." Eckart Tolle says of enlightenment:
"the word enlightenment conjurs up the idea of some superhuman accomplishment, and the ego likes to keep it that way, but it is simply your natural state of felt oneness with Being."
He also says:
The inability to feel this connectedness gives rise to the illusion of separation, from yourself, and from the world around you. You then perceive yourself, consciously, or unconsciously, as an Isolated fragment. Fear arises, and conflict within and without becomes the norm
Wednesday, April 06, 2005
A Reply
--- Joyce Thomas wrote:
> Hello,
Goodday to you,
>
> Hello we are a Charity Company ready to render loan
> and help to people that need in the usa and uk, so
> we would like you to please forward us with this
> information if you need loan and the reason why the
> loan is needed.
>
>
> If you need a loan indicate that you need a loan, if
> you need help for money for school, housing and
> other little requirement indicate with your email
> reply.
> Also if this is a company that need loan lease let
> us know ur full comany details as well.
>
>
> So please we would like you to fill this Application
> form as listed below for the loan:
>
> Name:
> Company or where you work:
> Full Addres:
> Office Phone Number:
> Mobile phone number:
> Fax Number:
> Amount Of Money Needed:
> Religion:
> Married or single:
>
>
> And what will you use to assure us that the money
> will be paid back:
>
>
> And the date that you will be paying the money back
> after you get the money:
>
> We meet up with the commitements of our clients and
> we are ready to help mostly the Christians
>
> Thanks,
>
> Secretary,
>
> Joyce.
>
> Our Contact info is:
>
> Charity home finance Company Ltd
> 11 ambleside point
> new cross
> london
> se15 1ea
> Great Britian also called United Kingdom
> Contact Phone: 44-7985120048
God Damn it!
How did you get my e-mail address? Joyce Thomas, if you don't send me back a confirmation that my e-mail address has been removed from you parasitic company's data base, I am going to conjure up the foulest soul eating monsters imaginable to plague you, your computers and any of your soulless offsping to come. I am a very buisy entity and it takes a bit of effort for me to perform such an operation, but
it would be worth it to me to spend a little of my dream time spectating the greusome process of your worthless soul being meticulously flayed from your greed infested beast fucked bag of rag and bones.
Thank you
Sincerely,
Dark
>
>
--- Joyce Thomas
> Hello,
Goodday to you,
>
> Hello we are a Charity Company ready to render loan
> and help to people that need in the usa and uk, so
> we would like you to please forward us with this
> information if you need loan and the reason why the
> loan is needed.
>
>
> If you need a loan indicate that you need a loan, if
> you need help for money for school, housing and
> other little requirement indicate with your email
> reply.
> Also if this is a company that need loan lease let
> us know ur full comany details as well.
>
>
> So please we would like you to fill this Application
> form as listed below for the loan:
>
> Name:
> Company or where you work:
> Full Addres:
> Office Phone Number:
> Mobile phone number:
> Fax Number:
> Amount Of Money Needed:
> Religion:
> Married or single:
>
>
> And what will you use to assure us that the money
> will be paid back:
>
>
> And the date that you will be paying the money back
> after you get the money:
>
> We meet up with the commitements of our clients and
> we are ready to help mostly the Christians
>
> Thanks,
>
> Secretary,
>
> Joyce.
>
> Our Contact info is:
>
> Charity home finance Company Ltd
> 11 ambleside point
> new cross
> london
> se15 1ea
> Great Britian also called United Kingdom
> Contact Phone: 44-7985120048
God Damn it!
How did you get my e-mail address? Joyce Thomas, if you don't send me back a confirmation that my e-mail address has been removed from you parasitic company's data base, I am going to conjure up the foulest soul eating monsters imaginable to plague you, your computers and any of your soulless offsping to come. I am a very buisy entity and it takes a bit of effort for me to perform such an operation, but
it would be worth it to me to spend a little of my dream time spectating the greusome process of your worthless soul being meticulously flayed from your greed infested beast fucked bag of rag and bones.
Thank you
Sincerely,
Dark
>
>
From: Dark Sevier
>To: grizz Aahhoo
>Subject: The Deal
>Date: Thu, 31 Mar 2005 23:55:51 -0800 (PST)
>
>Griz-
>
>Where is the middle ground here? I don't want any
>more "conversations" like our last phone call. I am
>not going to be bullied and talked over. I will
>listen to you, consider what you say, and respond. I
>expect nothing less from you or anyone else.
>
>I am not out to screw you. I think you know me well
>enough to know that. I want both of us to feel like
>the transfer of this operation was a fair one. So,
>let's consider the facts surrounding the transition.
>
>You say a lot of things, and you make a lot of plans,
>and they are often completely conflicting and
>dichotomous. I watched you re-formulate the business
>plan for Hawai'i Plant Company three times in an
>afternoon, each time declaring finality. When you
>asked me to manage your company I told you that I
>would not, and I gave you the reason: I cannot work
>with your particular style of management. I told you
>that I would buy your clientele, but I would not
>manage it for you. You agreed. You terminated HPC
>and I started my company. We agreed that I would pay
>you the accounts payable at the time of termination.
>We agreed that I would pay you a percentage of what
>sellable stock that you had left on PATCO property. We
>agreed that I would then pay a yet to be determined
>ammount for the book; or your clientele. We signed
>this agreement with a witness. I agreed to buy your
>truck according to blue book at the time of sale.
>
>You can check your bank records to find out how much
>I put in your account over the last two years. Plus
>the Citibank payments, plus the Discover payments,
>plus the Western Union transfers, plus the Gigantea
>order and the labor involved.
>
>I was glad to do these things when I could, and I
>appreciated your patients when I couldn't. We never
>came to a final number on the business book. We need
>to come to an understanding now.
>
>This whole transfer was on verbal agreements and
>handshakes. I trusted that. I feel that your memory
>has a flexibility and crativity that has spawned a
>communication problem between us.
>
>Your ungraciousness as a house guest, the threats to
>take back your clientele, the liberties that you took
>with my nursury operations, and the disrespectful talk
>behind my back has soured my regard for you as a
>person and a friend. Before we have any more business
>between us, we need to come to an understanding.
>
>You tell me what it is that you think I owe you. I
>will look at that and we can take it from there.
>
>Dark
>
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
grizz Aahhoo"
To: darksevier@yahoo.com
Subject: RE: The Deal
Date: Fri, 01 Apr 2005 21:41:12 +0000
dark im interesred in working somethiong out with you so we can
work
with out losing
first of all im not impressed with your operation the nursrie
looks
like shit i canot believe the coles let you get away with it . you don
have
any order the best i can say is scattrebrain
you have no dicipline whatsoever,. you need to focus on one thingf at a
time.
as far as our agreements your thinking and mine are really
diffrent
you have come up with several diffrent offers and when we first started
the
transfer of the company i hoped that i could still
workl with the compan if i needed it has become apperent that you
comand
weigh too much controll for me . you donot work well with other people
.
as far as my feelings of dissatifacition there is a rather long list
the
biggest is that you are a controol freek and you are not leaving me any
room
.
to make a lomng story shorter im not supper happy with how you
see
things and you are not happy with me . i donot feel like the company
is
paid for when we decided on a secdule of payments we agreed on a
comission
secduleper plant . you never keept track when it seemed like you would
just
give me enough to travel i was contant.
im really greatful for your efforts to provide me with money
for
that time. i afforded
you the opturnity to have controol of the operation.last night you made
refrence to the fact
that i burnt my bridges and left with really bad fellings. i see it
really
diffrentley i lef with a nursrie full of plants full of accounts
recivebal,
happy coustomers. the working stations were operational
i feel like i left you with quite an opturnity, i felt happy that you
were
able to give me the opturnity to see south america.
now im back and im really trieng to be staniable. im really
interested in earnig a living some
way or another im totaly into starting something new. at this moment
air
layering of the trees we sell. imn hop[ing we can get back on track
and
work this out im up for this progect.
get back to me and let me know what is your proposel im out of time
sincerley
griz
>To: grizz Aahhoo
>Subject: The Deal
>Date: Thu, 31 Mar 2005 23:55:51 -0800 (PST)
>
>Griz-
>
>Where is the middle ground here? I don't want any
>more "conversations" like our last phone call. I am
>not going to be bullied and talked over. I will
>listen to you, consider what you say, and respond. I
>expect nothing less from you or anyone else.
>
>I am not out to screw you. I think you know me well
>enough to know that. I want both of us to feel like
>the transfer of this operation was a fair one. So,
>let's consider the facts surrounding the transition.
>
>You say a lot of things, and you make a lot of plans,
>and they are often completely conflicting and
>dichotomous. I watched you re-formulate the business
>plan for Hawai'i Plant Company three times in an
>afternoon, each time declaring finality. When you
>asked me to manage your company I told you that I
>would not, and I gave you the reason: I cannot work
>with your particular style of management. I told you
>that I would buy your clientele, but I would not
>manage it for you. You agreed. You terminated HPC
>and I started my company. We agreed that I would pay
>you the accounts payable at the time of termination.
>We agreed that I would pay you a percentage of what
>sellable stock that you had left on PATCO property. We
>agreed that I would then pay a yet to be determined
>ammount for the book; or your clientele. We signed
>this agreement with a witness. I agreed to buy your
>truck according to blue book at the time of sale.
>
>You can check your bank records to find out how much
>I put in your account over the last two years. Plus
>the Citibank payments, plus the Discover payments,
>plus the Western Union transfers, plus the Gigantea
>order and the labor involved.
>
>I was glad to do these things when I could, and I
>appreciated your patients when I couldn't. We never
>came to a final number on the business book. We need
>to come to an understanding now.
>
>This whole transfer was on verbal agreements and
>handshakes. I trusted that. I feel that your memory
>has a flexibility and crativity that has spawned a
>communication problem between us.
>
>Your ungraciousness as a house guest, the threats to
>take back your clientele, the liberties that you took
>with my nursury operations, and the disrespectful talk
>behind my back has soured my regard for you as a
>person and a friend. Before we have any more business
>between us, we need to come to an understanding.
>
>You tell me what it is that you think I owe you. I
>will look at that and we can take it from there.
>
>Dark
>
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
grizz Aahhoo"
To: darksevier@yahoo.com
Subject: RE: The Deal
Date: Fri, 01 Apr 2005 21:41:12 +0000
dark im interesred in working somethiong out with you so we can
work
with out losing
first of all im not impressed with your operation the nursrie
looks
like shit i canot believe the coles let you get away with it . you don
have
any order the best i can say is scattrebrain
you have no dicipline whatsoever,. you need to focus on one thingf at a
time.
as far as our agreements your thinking and mine are really
diffrent
you have come up with several diffrent offers and when we first started
the
transfer of the company i hoped that i could still
workl with the compan if i needed it has become apperent that you
comand
weigh too much controll for me . you donot work well with other people
.
as far as my feelings of dissatifacition there is a rather long list
the
biggest is that you are a controol freek and you are not leaving me any
room
.
to make a lomng story shorter im not supper happy with how you
see
things and you are not happy with me . i donot feel like the company
is
paid for when we decided on a secdule of payments we agreed on a
comission
secduleper plant . you never keept track when it seemed like you would
just
give me enough to travel i was contant.
im really greatful for your efforts to provide me with money
for
that time. i afforded
you the opturnity to have controol of the operation.last night you made
refrence to the fact
that i burnt my bridges and left with really bad fellings. i see it
really
diffrentley i lef with a nursrie full of plants full of accounts
recivebal,
happy coustomers. the working stations were operational
i feel like i left you with quite an opturnity, i felt happy that you
were
able to give me the opturnity to see south america.
now im back and im really trieng to be staniable. im really
interested in earnig a living some
way or another im totaly into starting something new. at this moment
air
layering of the trees we sell. imn hop[ing we can get back on track
and
work this out im up for this progect.
get back to me and let me know what is your proposel im out of time
sincerley
griz
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